"O brave new world that has such people in't."

I have decided to enter the world of online dating.  It's something I've been encouraged to do by my group (as in therapy) and by some friends.  Or, rather, those friends have indicated that nice, available, intelligent men do not just float down the street and up to your door.

To this I say - "Dammit!  Why not?"

So, I have taken the necessary steps and signed up, made my profile, posted an accurate picture of myself and sent messages to strangers online.  I got two message responses the other night.  Let's call them, Bachelor #1 and Bachelor #2.

The conversation with Bachelor #1 started off a little confusing, cleared itself up somewhere in the middle, then got weird.  For me, at least.  Here's a dramatic re-creation of the conversation:

Me: Hi!  I like your profile.  Blah, blah, blah about a nice vacation I went on once.
B#1: Did you read my personality questions?
Me: Yeah.  Sort of.  I skimmed.
B#1: I'm unique.
Me: ...
B#1: A unique individual.
Me: ...  (re-reading)
Me: ... (reading some more.  Hmmm, says here that if he met someone who was EVERYTHING he wanted, except the body-type, it would be a deal breaker.)
Me:  Ah, I see here that fatties are a deal breaker.  No worries.  Best of luck.  (my actual response)
B#1: Whoa, whoa.  If you got a little extra it looks good in corsets!  Bonus, right?

[I really should have stopped it right there.  But I was trying to be open to new people.]

B#1:  Read my stuff again.  I'm not hung up on body types.
Me: ...  (re-reading)
B#1:  I have a unique lifestyle.
Me: ... (reading)
B#1: I like playing.  Do you know what that is?
Me: Role-playing?  Sexual or D&D?

[I was REALLY hoping for D&D to be the answer]

B#1: Sexual.  But if you're nice, you can teach me D&D.

[HA!  D&D must be LIVED muthafucka!]

Me:  Well, RPGs are a little like sexual role-play, I guess.  Your role playing involves dice less often than mine does.
B#1: It doesn't have to.  
B#1: What kind of toys do you have?
Me: ...
Me: *blink*
Me: *blink, blink*

Me:  Call me old fashioned, but I think we could be talking about ANYTHING before discussing my toy selection.

==================

Bachelor #2 seemed like a nice enough man.  I sent him a generic message and he responded with a polite, but firm, "I'm used to people dumping me when I start to talk about God being a mythic figure."  If I was smarter, I would've made a joke about the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Bible.  

So, as it stands, judging me by my sex toy collection trumps God hangups in the "Strange Shit You Put Up With When Looking For A Date Online" list.  I have a feeling the list will get longer and stranger as I progress.

ugh

so, in retrospect, I totally hated the last post I did.  That's not the kind of blogger I want to be.  I don't know enough about painting to be giving TIPS on it.  lordy.  what an asshat I can be.

so, to you, gentle reader (keeping it real with the singular), I apologize.  And to myself of the last entry:

Here's to keeping the blog about the journey that I am undertaking and to keeping it low-key, real, and not patronizing.

Painting lessons - under painting with earth tones

This last semester was my first painting class.  I had a great time learning different techniques and thought that I would share the results here.

The first project was all about under painting.  This technique was used by many classic artists as a way to give depth and detail to the painting.  Under painting in grey tones was often referred to as grisalle and was used by artists from Reubens to Picasso.  It fell out of favor in the 20th century, but is still taught today in art classes everywhere.

The first layer of painting is done with one of the earth tones like burnt umber, raw umber, burnt sienna or raw sienna.  The 'raw' colors have cooler tones and the 'burnt' ones are warmer.  The choice of what to use in this stage is up to the artist.  To create the value shift from light to dark, white is added to the earth tone in different amounts.  Here is one of the early under paintings for my first project:

still life #1

As you can see, there are many values used here, but only two colors: white and raw umber.  Here is another example of under painting that used burnt sienna:

landscape - Hanalei Valley overlook

Comparing the two, you can see the difference between 'warm' and 'cool'.  Also, the 'raw' forms of umber and sienna are 'cool' and 'warm', respectively, especially when compared to one another.  

Here's a picture of some value scales I did with the earth tones, so that you can get an idea:

the scale at the top is burnt sienna and white and below that is burnt umber and white.  There is a small example of glazing here (because I was experimenting to recreate skin tones).  

here is a raw umber value scale.  

You can see the difference in warm and cool tones very clearly.  It is also possible to use another earth tone, yellow ochre, in under painting, but it is not ideal.  Yellow ochre contains white in the mix, so it is not a 'pure hue'.  White is added because yellow hues are usually fairly transparent.  However, it would be interesting to use it for under painting, just to see what happens.  I think I will experiment with this and report back on my results.

Under painting not only adds depth to a final painting, but it is also a way to sketch out the ideas on to the canvas.  The picture of the under painting above (Hanalei Valley overlook) is still in the early stages, and many changes were made before and after the colors were added on top.  

This is just one method of painting.  I like it because it is like building a skeletal structure or foundation.  It is also important to remember to let the paint dry fully before adding more paint, unless you are trying to get a muddy or mottled look.  

Have fun and experiment.  If it all goes south, and you get completely disgusted just get a jug of gesso and re-prime your canvas and start over.  It's just painting, after all.  

Next Up:  glazing with color over the under painting.

If at first you don't succeed, don't reach for the whiskey

My final semester at the local CC is drawing to a close.  I am finishing up my last project and have two more class meetings before I am done.  I was hoping to get into the local U's art program, but I got the rejection letter yesterday.  I cried - because I was disappointed and because my brain wouldn't shut up about how this was just one more reason I wasn't good enough.  I hate it when my brain works against me.

My first impulse was to immediately text some friends, tell them my bad news, and beg for them to bring me whiskey so I could get all sh!t-faced to properly mourn my ruined plans.  Luckily, the impulse was overridden by my desire to not add depressants to my depression.  I knew I felt crappy, and I also knew that drinking would only make me feel more craptastic than I felt being sober.  Sober wins!

Instead of drowning my sorrows in alcohol, I drowned them in sugar.  And comedies.  And a good friend who came by to talk at me until I could beat down the worst part of the funk.  

plus

plus

= funk buster

Where do I go now?  Plan D.  I'm trying for the same U, but a different program.  Maybe then I can laterally transition into the art program.  At the very least, I am back to the basics of the original plan:  get my undergraduate degree.  

I will still paint and draw, because I love it, and because I'm good at it.  I can only get better if I continue to work.  And if Plan D falls through, I will move on to Plan E.  Hell - there are 26 letters in the alphabet, plus 10 number symbols.  With those, plus doubling, there are at least 54 more plans I can roll through before I have to resort to some other alphabet and/or counting system.  

Life isn't fair and you can't always get what you want.  But you keep trying.  And save the whiskey for a celebration.  

Sold!

Both of my pieces were marked as "Sold" at the art show last night!  I didn't win anything from the jury, but I got nice compliments from some people at the show.  I even overheard someone talking about the abstract of the Caravaggio piece:

(most of this is almost not entirely accurate) (Edit: the two women are talking about a photograph displayed near my painting)

Woman #1: (to Woman #2) That's not a squirrel.  That's a cat.  It's upside-down, see? (they both consider a photograph next to my piece)
Woman #2: That's a cat?  It looks like a squirrel.  It's up in a tree, so I thought it was a squirrel.
Woman #1: What's this? (looking at my piece)
Woman #2: ...
Woman #1: Is he poking that...?  What is this?
Woman #2: ...squirrel...
Woman #1: I don't understand that.  What is that supposed to be?  And why is he poking him?

(/scene)

And, here is the picture I grabbed of the final work.

Abstract of Caravaggio's "Incredulity of Saint Thomas"

Not about the Boston Marathon tragedy

Everyone is thinking about Boston.  I know I am.  But I won't address it here.  I will only add my thoughts and prayers for all those involved and effected.  Peace be with you.

palette cleanser:

Baby wombats make the tears turn to laughter.  That's what we need most of all.  

Today is a big day for me.  I have two pieces in a student art show at my local CC, and the reception to announce the winners is TONIGHT.  Here's a picture of some of the entries in The Gallery - Check it out!

This is just a portion of the works displayed.  Here's a better shot showing my pieces

This is the piece on the left.  I call her "Big Woman, Little Tub".  

This is an abstract of Caravaggio's "Incredulity of St. Thomas", earlier draft, though.  I adjusted the shadow on Jesus.  I'll have to get a new picture of the final work.

So, tonight I find out if either of those pieces won a prize, or if anyone wants to purchase them, or possibly both.  At the other end of the spectrum, I could get no prize and no offers - but there will be punch!  And most likely cookies.  

Also this weekend, there is a visit from a good friend, lots of tabletop RPGing, a wedding where my band is playing and our drummer is the groom!  We have a guest drummer for the reception, and he is one of the coolest, kindest, talented, knowledgeable, and deliciously crunchy guys I know.  I have a crush on him and have for years.  I turn into a 12-year-old girl when I'm around him sometimes.  

And..and...AND: It is Record Store Saturday, y'all!!  There some information about it in Style Weekly if you want to check it out.  Basically, it's a day for locals to get out to their local record store and buy some vinyl!  Love your music, love your local music, and love your local music retailers!  

Parting thought: yesterday, I bought a sandwich at the Wawa and my order number was 666.  It reminded me of this:

New Discoveries

I will be the first to admit it - I am not always on the leading edge of cool stuff.  I often discover things well past the time they first broke over the shores of the webs.  However, I do believe that discovery, whenever it happens, is a joyful thing.

That being said:  Peteykins

I ran across this picture in a search for what passes today as "gift giving" (ie putting a funny picture on someone's Fb feed):

Freakin' hilarious, right?  So, I made sure to give credit when I reposted the picture and ended up tooling around the Grand Index of All Things Peteykins!  

Enjoy that.  I know I did, and still am.  I'm also enjoying the random "Nancy" cartoons that Peteykins upgrades.  

I also ran across two new albums on NPR.org.  The first is Steve Martin and Edie Brickell's collaboration on "Love Has Come for You".  Great, classic bluegrass structure, warm vocals and surprising lyrics.  

Steve and Edie:  look at those faces!  They had a good time doing this.  

The second was from Laura Mvula's "Sing To The Moon" which is just hauntingly beautiful, groovy in places and really - not what you were expecting.  I recommend giving a listen to both.

Grrr!